The MangyDog Archives!
Here, you'll find links to fantastic past columns from our MangyDog writing staff. Enjoy, and if you would like to write a guest column or curse us out for being jackasses, feel free to contact us! Thanks, and have a Mangy day!
By the MangyDog staff & friends
Compiled and Answered by Mangy Dog
01/24/03 - Our new weekly feature debuts. 01/29/03 - A tragic tale of matrimony gone wrong. 02/12/03 - Most depressing . . . letter . . . ever. 02/19/03 - Greetings from Amish country! 03/06/03 - Two crazy illiterates, one crazy, illiterate column. 03/16/03 - There's dumb . . . and then there's Tammy. 03/25/03 - A shocking confession . . . to the wrong guy. 04/03/03 - A depressing letter leads to the tragic tale of Zima Boy. 04/07/03 - A quick one. 05/05/03 - The very last Letter Meant For Dr. Phil. 06/19/03 - . . . until this one. 07/18/03 - Hello from Sweden! 09/15/03 - Reading, Schmeading 10/24/03 - A Two-fer! 12/07/03 - Not Dr. Phil's Guide to Sobriety 01/21/04 - Disturbing. 02/27/04 - Featuring a Very Special Guest! 06/08/04 - 79-year old sex addicts? Yeah, we got that. 10/02/04 - It never ends . . . 12/16/04 - FIVE more letters. Jeez. 04/14/05 - EIGHT NEW LETTERS!
OUR FINE COLUMNISTS
Jesse Perry: Random Droppings from the MangyDog
08/26/99 - The first Random Droppings, taking a leak on Limp Bizkit and Kentucky vampires. 10/20/99 - A touching story from my youth, and a tribute to high school angst. 02/21/00 - The first column after our first server exploded. 09/14/00 - So long, Bobby Knight, and the eternal question of Dimwits vs. Cyborgs. 10/06/00 - "A nation of pussies." 10/12/00 - A look at Radiohead's "Kid A". 11/22/00 - The evil of recount jokes. 12/06/00 - The best music of 2000! 12/13/00 - The election post-mortem. 01/15/01 - beggin' and shillin'. 02/07/01 - America the Pre-Pubescent. 02/15/01 - A childhood memory, and the problem with raccoons. 02/26/01 - Earnhardt, Eminem, and Elton. 03/07/01 - Ah . . . spring. 03/12/01 - A Confession. (part 1) 03/25/01 - 5 Steps To Saving Music (BONUS-Home Roadie Song) 04/15/01 - Why Russell Crowe Is A Dipshit. 05/02/01 - Why Russell Crowe Fans Are Dipshits. 05/10/01 - A review of "Gladiator." 06/21/01 - More Exploding Servers. 06/27/01 - Free Nashville Now! 08/07/01 - Living with Chad . . . Dammit. 08/31/01 - Carla, Football, and Three Sick Jokes. 09/12/01 - Reflections on 9/11/01. 09/25/01 - BEAT IT . . . PLEASE. 10/13/01 - Fun With Mister Mean! 10/16/01 - Apologies, Accusations, and Anthrax. 11/10/01 - Smells Like Teen Bullshit. 11/20/01 - IT'S THANKSGIVING, NOW SHUT UP. 11/29/01 - Bitter White Guy Column #30. 12/05/01 - Shameless Plugs Can Be Your Friend! 12/14/01 - Perry/Brockovich 01/03/02 - New Year's Resolutions. 01/10/02 - Bring Me the Head of Geraldo Rivera. 01/18/02 - More Random Droppings. 02/11/02 - Five Rings of Apathy. 02/18/02 - Gimme Some TruthTM. 02/23/02 - Chuck Jones: 1912-2002 02/28/02 - Pardon My Phlegm. 03/03/02 - Over the Hill and Far Away. 03/12/02 - My Hometown. 03/20/02 - How to Get an Oscar. 03/28/02 - A Stroll Through the Town. 04/03/02 - MY God can Kick YOUR God's Ass! 04/12/02 - The Worst Town in America. 04/18/02 - Kiddie Porn, Dokken, and Central Wisconsin Baseball History. 04/24/02 - John Travolta is Strange. 05/02/02 - So Long, Fucko, Part 1. 05/12/02 - The Strangest Things I've Ever Seen. 05/19/02 - Flipping around the Tube. 05/24/02 - Why I Do Comedy. 05/31/02 - Happy Birthday . . . Whooptee-Doo. 06/05/02 - Clarksville, Chris Rock, and Conflagration. 06/14/02 - Home Alone, Like That Kid. 06/21/02 - I Suck. 06/29/02 - A Meditation on the President's Butt. 07/02/02 - If You Steal Jeff Foxworthy's Lame Ideas, You Might be a Comedian 07/03/02 - Hope I Die Before I Get Like The Who. 07/07/02 - Everybody Must Get Gored. 07/12/02 - Lord of the Jesses. 07/19/02 - A World O' Shit. 07/25/02 - Zacarias Moussaoui, Will You Ever Learn? 08/03/02 - Toby Keith is a Wuss. 08/08/02 - The Bird is the Word. 08/16/02 - Random? I Hardly Even Know 'em! 09/02/02 - Morning DJs Must Die. 09/13/02 - Thanks, Warren. 09/15/02 - The Good, The Bad, The Ugly, and Nick Nolte. 09/23/02 - My Number One Fans. 09/26/02 - Random Whimsicalities. 10/02/02 - Reflections with Judge Larry Joe. 10/07/02 - Jesse Perry's Guide to the Movies. 10/10/02 - Headline News, Now With Flava! 10/16/02 - Ryan Adams is a Twit. 10/25/02 - Don't Leave Me, Nashville Digest. 10/30/02 - What Price, Internet Glory? 11/10/02 - A Peek at the Mangy Mailbag. 11/15/02 - Random Randomings. 11/18/02 - Ew's and Ahh's. 11/21/02 - My First Column. 12/05/02 - Loony Larry, and a Dose of Cabin Fever. 12/14/02 - Merry Christmas, Kinda! 12/18/02 - The 2002 Jive Turkey Awards. 12/20/02 - The Year-End Super Happy Terrific Mega-Column! 01/13/03 - Just Like Starting Over. 01/18/03 - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I'm Flat Broke). 01/21/03 - Help Yourself to Some Self-Help! 01/27/03 - WWYSD? 02/03/03 - Let's Get Apocalyptic! 02/10/03 - Good Ol' Porn 02/19/03 - Hail to the Chumps 03/05/03 - Your God Returns 03/12/03 - Below the Belt 03/18/03 - Happy War Day! 03/27/03 - A Little Bit o' Warrin', A Little Bit o' Whorin' 03/31/03 - War Journal #1 04/10/03 - War Journal #2 04/14/03 - Randomrama! 04/17/03 - Nuke Laloosh is a Liberal Spy 04/27/03 - This Column's Cool as Hell 05/05/03 - TAKE ME! I'M OLD! 05/09/03 - Madonna is a Talentless Bonehead, and Other Fun Facts 05/15/03 - In a Perfect World . . . 05/21/03 - No Annika? Moron-ica! 06/02/03 - Happy Birthday, Dr. Sexy! 06/16/03 - 2,000 Words Under the Sea 07/01/03 - Gone Drunclin' 07/15/03 - That's Miss Smith . . . If You're NASTY! 07/21/03 - A Man-Beast in Sheep's Clothing 07/28/03 - I Love Celebrities! 07/30/03 - A Brief History of Jesse Perry 07/31/03 - Comedy Death: A Photo Scrapbook 08/04/03 - The Magic of Gigli. 08/19/03 - Blowing Rocks and Breathalyzers. 08/27/03 - Fun N' Games with The Great White Stanhope. 09/11/03 - Captain Joke-A-Bunch Pops His Cherry 10/03/03 - Where the Hell Have I Been? 10/14/03 - Jesus, Julia! 10/30/03 - Let's Have Fun at the World's Expense! 11/10/03 - Action Jackson 12/14/03 - HoHoHo, Hacks n' Hippies! 01/06/04 - Thickburgers, Jihad, and Pete Rose. 01/26/04 - Perry's Pope Prefers Printable Propaganda 02/05/04 - Pissing Blood . . . Hilariously! 03/04/04 - Hitting the Nail on the Hand 03/23/04 - Waiter, There's Crack in my Bedpan 04/15/04 - Re: My Sex Scandal 04/29/04 - My New Movie 07/13/04 - Live From the Grassy Knoll 11/27/04 - The State O' The J 02/21/05 - No Effinghammin' Way 08/03/05 - Bask in My Jessence 01/06/06 - My Annual Column 04/09/06 - Ahh, The Biz, Part 1 07/17/06 - Ahh, The Biz, Part 2 06/08/07 - Bennie and the Jess
The Heinous Bastard: Sports News & Views Plus The Hot Chick of the Week
06/27/99 - Bob Costas, The Dallas Stars, women's soccer, sad jockeys, oh my! 07/06/99 - Reader mail, and why the Lakers weren't going to win the NBA title (DOH!) 07/20/99 - Striking umps, and the first part of the 1999 college football preview. 08/03/99 - More on those damn umps, and College Football Preview, part Deux. 08/24/99 - Reader mail, Great baseball, and the triumph of Lance Armstrong. 09/10/99 - The Last American Cowboys. 09/24/99 - Why Florida fans suck. 12/26/99 - Bad jokes and gun control. 02/21/00 - A look at the world of sports during our server crisis. 03/05/00 - A journey to Mecca. 03/22/00 - John Rocker and the evils of ESPN.com. 05/20/00 - Crappy basketball, crappy hockey, and the crappy NCAA. 06/26/00 - The Vols ESPN.com doesn't talk about. 08/??/00 - THB'S 2000 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW 10/30/00 - Why Meredith Viera is a sexist pig. 01/05/01 - THB returns, with a rundown on the weird and wonderful in the sports world. 01/10/01 - SEC, BCS, and THB. 01/17/01 - The world of UT athletics. 01/24/01 - The NCAA death penalty. 02/05/01 - The XFL, and a Mangy sports exclusive. 02/07/01 - the myth of National Signing Day. 02/14/01 - College basketball, and those damned ESPYs. 02/28/01 - Frank Thomas, Vol Basketball 03/24/01 - Jerry Green gets canned 08/25/01 - THB'S 2001 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW! 11/26/01 - A couple of observations and the Hot Chick Of The Week 12/06/01 - Vols Yea, Gators Nay. 01/14/02 - So long, Spermier! 03/11/02 - March Madness! 03/30/02 - A Brief Snippit 06/12/02 - Darva Conger and Steroids 08/07/02 - THB'S 2002 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW! 11/04/02 - GO VOLS . . . Um . . . Yeah. 11/14/02 - Why Women Should Stay in Their Place. 11/20/02 - Why We DON'T Need a College Football Playoff. 08/12/03 - THB'S 2003 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW! 08/12/03 - THB'S 6TH ANNUAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL PRESEASON FOOTBALL BONANZA SPECTACULAR!!! 07/31/05 - THB'S 7th Annual College Football Preview
DVD Reviews by Oscar Zacatecas
08/29/00 - "Erin Brockovich," "The 13th Warrior," and much more! 09/22/00 - "28 Days," and crappy Olympic coverage 11/15/00 - "Mission: Impossible 2" 11/28/00 - "X-Men" 12/20/00 - "The Virgin Suicides," "Fantasia 2000," and the "Toy Story" boxed set 01/15/01 - "Hollow Man," "Nutty Professor II: The Klumps" 01/30/01 - "Dinosaur" and "Manhunter" 02/20/01 - "Gone in 60 Seconds" and "Woman on Top" (!) 02/27/01 - "Scary Movie" and "Shriek If You Know What you Did last Friday the 13th" 03/13/01 - "Almost Famous" and "The Contender" 03/24/01 - "Inspector Gadget," "The Tao of Steve" and "Remember the Titans" 04/10/01 - "Legend of Bagger Vance" And Oscar Retrospective... 08/07/01 - "The Mexican" and "3000 Miles to Graceland" 09/17/01 - Oscar Speaks Out. 10/03/01 - "Spiders" 12/19/01 - "Moulin Rouge" 01/10/02 - "The Fast and The Furious", "The Godfather," and AN EXCITING GIVEAWAY. 03/07/02 - Oscar's 2001 Oscar Picks. 06/16/02 - Oscar's Big-Ass Return! 03/17/03 - A New Communique from Oscar Zacatecas 07/27/03 - A peek at "Daredevil."
Guest Columns
12/15/01 - "Here a Flag, There a Flag, Everywhere a Flag Flag," by Rebecca Krefting. 01/05/02 - "I've Got a Gun, and I Know how to Use It," by Rebecca Krefting. 03/23/02 - "Why No One in Their Right Mind Ought to Got to Pittsburgh," by Robin Thornett. 05/28/02 - "Why I Watch Comedy," by an Anonymous Comedy Fan. 06/30/02 - "Dating Should be Against the Law," by Karolyn Ellsworth Lewis. 07/31/02 - "The SEC Needs to Take out the Trash" by Scott Keesee. 08/14/02 - "The wrath of ex-girlfriends" by Laura Underhill. 08/22/02 - "Society is Screwed, and I Have Proof" by Kiley Elliston. 08/23/02 - "Summer Movie Review: Signs" by Keith Alberstadt and Vic T. Lussock. 09/08/02 - "Football: A Storytorial" by Karen E. Larson and Kevin Eldridge. 10/07/02 - "Talking about Doin' It" with Pennie Tration. 10/14/02 - "The None of the Above Party Platform" by Earnest Honestly. 11/02/02 - "My $36,000 Education" by Nikki. 11/04/02 - "Equality Rocks" by Katelyn E. Lawless. 11/15/02 - "Who Wants Some Worthless Beads?" by Keith Alberstadt. 11/22/02 - "O Canada, Get the Fuck Away From Me" by Nikki. 12/12/02 - "Wishing You Crazy Holidays" by Ms. Kris Elf. 01/19/03 - "Let's Go Down to the Swimming Hole" by Nikki. 02/04/03 - "Every Fat Person is a Suspect" by Nikki. 04/10/03 - "aint a goddam one of you sumbitches better than me" by Ray. 04/14/03 - "Life was Nerfy" by Keith Alberstadt. 04/18/03 - "More Butter For Her Butt" by Scot Nery. 08/11/03 - The Mangy Dog Roast of "Comedy Central's Roast of Denis Leary" by Jesse Perry and Chad Riden 08/23/03 - "Haunted Comedy" by Keith Alberstadt 09/21/03 - "The Cruel Truth" by Bullshirt 10/13/03 - "Cat Scratch Fever" by Nikki 11/04/03 - "Baseball, Beantown, and Jumping Monkeys (in bed)" by Keith Alberstadt 11/10/03 - "Barry Martin," by Danny Limor. 11/25/03 - "Health Food for Goths" by Scot Nery. 01/05/04 - "The Resolutionary War" by Keith Alberstadt 01/12/04 - "More Cruel Truth" by Bullshirt 01/13/04 - "Europe on Five Fingers a Day" by Mike Roscoe 02/03/04 - "Exposing More in 2004" by Michael Fenn 02/09/04 - "Ten Feet in Ten Minutes" by Michael Fenn 03/01/04 - "Secret Agent Jackass" by Keith Alberstadt 03/16/04 - "The National Pastime's Pastime" by B.W. Davis 03/30/04 - "Muslim Fundamentalist Adolescent Pranks" by Heath Bar 03/30/04 - "Sex With A Very Large Woman" by Robert Levin. 04/20/04 - "Postcards From the Road (The Sequel)" by Keith Alberstadt 05/10/04 - "Subpoena: Funny Word for Unfunny Times" by Kimber Erin Liberalnot 05/27/04 - "Recurring Nightmare" by Keith Alberstadt 06/02/04 - "The Summer Loves" by Anthony Sprott 06/27/04 - "Question This" by Keith Alberstadt 07/09/04 - "What Have You Protested For Me Lately?" by Katie Elizabeth Landers 08/30/04 - "Thai'd in Knots" by Ryan Williams 10/29/04 - "Final Political Reality Check" by Keith Alberstadt 11/17/04 - "Plans For The Future" by B.W. Davis 11/30/04 - "Abb-erations" by Ryan Williams 12/01/04 - "The Wanna-Be" by Brian L. 12/31/04 - "Empty Promises" by Keith Alberstadt 01/13/05 - "Too Lazy to Think of an Interesting Title" by Joel Stice 01/14/05 - "My Life as a Fast-Food Junkie" by Mark Anundson 01/14/05 - "18-25 Year Olds, Wake the Fuck Up" by Rob Haynes 02/07/05 - "Old School and Damn Proud of It " by Keith Alberstadt 02/11/05 - "Thin Line Between Love and Midgets" by Corey Reppond 02/15/05 - "A few open letters" by Ryan Williams 03/29/05 - "Mike Siscoe - Bahamian Legend" by Keith Alberstadt 05/16/05 - "Passing of the Four-Cylinder Torch" by Keith Alberstadt 05/20/05 - "Not all Asians are good at Math" by Mark Anundson 05/23/05 - Kickin' it with "The Fellas" by De'Mun 07/21/05 - "It's Not A Nightclub" by Brian L 09/02/05 - "Katrina Thoughts" by Keith Alberstadt 11/23/05 - "Open Letters to people who desperately need them- Part 2: Eclectic Bugaboo" by Ryan Williams 11/23/05 - "Back from Iraq" by Keith Alberstadt 12/28/05 - "It's Gonna Be a Busy Year" by Keith Alberstadt 01/16/05 - "Friday the 13th In Sports" by Stan Silliman 02/02/06 - "The Alberstadt Heritage Tour" by Keith Alberstadt 02/02/06 - "Why We Do What We Do" by Mary Mack 05/03/06 - "The Big Apple Move" by Keith Alberstadt 09/04/06 - "Racism Is The Answer" by Scot Nery 04/21/07 - "Happy For Appetizers, Column #1: Chick-Fil-A" by Mark Anundson 04/30/07 - "Why God Probably Looks Like Alicyn Sterling" by Ryan Williams 06/07/07 - "Happy For Appetizers, Column #2: Super Value Meal" by Mark Anundson 06/11/07 - "Penis Surgery" by Scot Nery
Chad Riden: Mr. Riden's Rants
2001.01.13 - The trials and tribulations of the humor-impaired. 2001.01.24 - An unprofessionally editorialized news update. 2001.02.11 - Valentine's Day 2001.04.12 - Falling Off The Face Of The Earth 2001.06.22 - The Blackout Blues 2001.06.30 - Invasion of the Funkless Clone Women 2001.07.13 - The Starvation Diet 2001.09.12 - Attack On America 2001.09.22 - So... what's been going on in the news? 2001.10.03 - A Call For Genocide 2001.10.17 - Bad Late Show Impressions (Show #1693) 2001.10.18 - The Age Of Fear And Forwards 2001.11.14 - Thanks For Nothing 2001.11.26 - All Around The World For The Funny 2001.12.12 - Lame Late Show Impressions (Show #1723) 2001.12.21 - Consumas Greetings! 2001.12.28 - What's in? What's out? 2002.02.01 - Cameo Mentions and Life Long Missions 2002.03.08 - Thinking Outside The Box 2002.03.12 - Crazy Is As Crazy Does 2002.03.30 - Martyr Without A Cause 2002.04.13 - Imagine (No Stupid Bullshit) 2002.05.02 - So Long, Fucko, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. 2002.05.28 - The Kids Hate Me 2002.06.21 - DaveCon 2002 2002.07.17 - Mud, Blood, and Dog Crap 2002.08.02 - The City That Never Lets Me Sleep 2002.08.14 - The Christian Cafe 2002.10.17 - Ring Of Fire 2002.11.07 - Baseball 2002.12.04 - All Roads Lead To Nashville 2003.01.18 - White, Fluffy Death 2003.03.13 - Save The Slant! 2003.06.12 - Oh, Baby! 2003.09.23 - Babycapades, Part 2 2005.05.20 - Parents Are Full Of Carp