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Chad Riden
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Thinking Outside The Box

I'm sure you've heard this phrase tossed around in commercials and promotions for various companies. It seems to be the leading catch phrase of the moment among the mindless sheep running Corporate America. Early returns from my exclusive polls show that "thinking outside the box" has just edged out the former buzzword of the moment, "seamless integration," as the most over-used meaningless crap of our time.

It's really hip now to be thought of as innovative thinkers. Every 62-year-old CEO with dozens of employees doing things he doesn't understand in the least bit wants the world to know that he's unorthodox, unpredictable, and a little X-treme! Unfortunately for these would-be hipsters, the very fact that they're claiming to be "thinking outside the box" brands them as clueless chimps.

You see, with everybody "thinking outside the box" - it has become the norm. You're not different if everybody else is doing the same thing. By jumping on the latest management-speak fad bandwagon in a desperate attempt to differentiate themselves from the crowd, these dolts have insured that they all sound the same. Now, "thinking outside the box" has become conventional wisdom.

Follow me on this.. Now that thinking outside the box is the norm, the only truly unorthodox way of thinking is now.. not "thinking outside the box." The true free-thinking radicals shaking it up are those who realize that the people still "thinking outside the box" are actually sitting beside their original box patting themselves on the back for being so ingenious. Unfortunately for them, in this world of non-thinkers, they are sitting in a warehouse full of their pathetic peers (each sitting beside his own box) who blindly thinks that they are pushing the envelope somehow. In fact, these days one could be pretty innovative by thinking inside the box. Over time, perhaps the others will fall ill.. they are sitting in a drafty warehouse, after all. While you could be safe and sound, cuddled up in your cozy box.

These smug corporate lemmings talk about changing their paradigms and blah-blah-blah.. but when it comes down to it, they aren't fooling anybody besides that naive girl in the office who tries to organize moral-boosting workshops from her cubicle / tree house in Fantasy Land. The only difference in the way the clods operate is now they've got Palm Pilots controlling their lives instead of Day Timers. Way to buck the system, you rebels! Form a committee and let's workshop some action plans!

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