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 Enjoy the Dr. Phil Random Quote Generator
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Ever since Mangy Dog created the Dr. Phil Random Quote Generator, we have been deluged with letters praising us for our cleverness, our greatness, and our perfection. Unfortunately, we have also been bombarded with letters from idiots with severe emotional problems. "Letters Meant
for Dr. Phil" is a weekly column written by the Mangy staff,
designed to showcase these idiots in a forum that is both mocking and
mean-spirited. Enjoy, and if you think that we're Dr. Phil,
write us today!
Let's get to this week's letter. As always, this is a letter we actually
received, and all the crappy spelling and grammar has been left intact: dr.Phil my daughter is getting married in one week she
has known this young man about 6 months . then she calls me a week before
moon I don't want to get married to him. well her dad and I just about lost
our mind this is 10,000 + we cannot cancel it is to late . oh yes she is 21
and he is 26 she hasn't finished her school yet.. so do we loose the money
and call off the wedding we has about 200 guest coming allot from out of
town or do we suggest she get married then divorce soon after this is all
against everything we believe in but we don't want her having a horrible
life because she doesn't love him. wedding is December 14,2002 at 5:00 in
the afternoon dance and dinner everything please help and please soon. NOT DR. PHIL SAYS: As I read your letter, I was reminded of what the
great humanitarian Albert Schweitzer once said: "Sentences,
shmentences." I'm sorry that I wasn't able to answer your
question in time . . . Apparently, this wedding has happened, and it
happened on December 14, 2002, at 5:00 in the afternoon. And
there was a dance. And there was also dinner. And
everything. Ah, good ol' everything. "Becky," If I were Dr. Phil, which, as you should
know, I am certainly NOT, I would first slap your daughter, hard, in
the mouth. You chide her for marrying a young man, although she is
actually 5 years younger than him. Perhaps you chided in the
wrong direction, and should think about refocusing your chiding
towards the young lady that is truly chide-worthy in this chide-filled
situation. If she's going to call you "a week before moon," then
shame on her for putting you in the lurch. The only divorce that
needs to happen is between you and your daughter. Yes, abandoning your child might seem harsh, but
please understand: I am not a trained professional. Of
course, neither is Dr. Phil, but I'm not even as qualified as he is!
Just don't talk to her for, say, 3 years . . . I think after that,
you'll be pleasantly surprised by the changes that have occurred in
your relationship. Take care "Becky," and I look forward to calling
you and visiting you in Texas . . . judging by the money you blew on
this fiasco, you sound loaded, and that's a major turn-on! Lustily Yours,
THE MANGY FORUM IS
BACK! CHECK IT OUT, YOU JIVE TURKEY! |
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