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 Enjoy the Dr. Phil Random Quote Generator
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Ever since Mangy Dog created the Dr. Phil Random Quote Generator, we have been deluged with letters praising us for our cleverness, our greatness, and our perfection. Unfortunately, we have also been bombarded with letters from idiots with severe emotional problems. "Letters Meant for Dr. Phil" is a weekly column written by the Mangy staff, designed to showcase these idiots in a forum that is both mocking and mean-spirited. Enjoy, and if you still think that we're Dr. Phil, write us today! Before we get started, we want to address a question that has come up since this section started: YES, these ARE actual letters that we have received in the Mangy inbox. They have not been altered in any way. These letters are not made up by the Mangy staff. Sadly, these dysfunctional, ignorant people DO exist. Just thinking about it makes us cry, and prays for a world where people read that line above the Dr. Phil Generator where we say, "WE ARE NOT ASSOCIATED WITH DR PHIL." OK, now on with the mocking! Dear Dr. Phil, I hear you are coming to Columbus, Ohio in April. I want to invite you and your wife to come to Granville, Ohio.We live in a 18th century village. We are a hour and half from the worlds largest Amish counrty, we live 20 miles from Longaberger Basket comp. Our village is something you must see. I will send you the web site on it. Our town would love to have you come for the day and experience it for yourself. I love you and your show. Lynda
NOT DR. PHIL SAYS: Since you live in an 18th century village, let me be the
first one to say, "Hello, cavemen!" I hope that the plague is not too
rife in yon castle . . . I also wonder if you operate your computer by
churning butter. I wonder these things for one simple reason:
I'M NOT DR. PHIL. I would also like to say that if your village's main
claim to fame is that you are an hour and a half from Amish people, doesn't
that make you officially the Most Boring Village Alive? When you glom
onto the Amish for excitement, I can safely say that it's time you leave the
house. Of course, that's just my advice . . . For better advice, you
should probably ask Dr. Phil . . . Who I'm not. Also, since you're from the 18th century, I would presume
that you own slaves and play the fife. That would be neat. I
hear they do the same thing in
Clarksville. I appreciate you loving the person that you meant to
write . . . Love is a wonderful thing. However, when misdirected, it
can turn deadly, like when you write a smart-ass who is a total stranger.
Have fun an hour and a half away from Amish country . . . my barn raises for
thee! Amish regards,
THE MANGY FORUM IS
BACK! CHECK IT OUT, YOU JIVE TURKEY! |
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