NOT DR. PHIL SAYS:


DEAR INEPT CHEATER,
The ways of the human species are strange and mysterious.  Often, we are prone to erratic and unpredictable behavior, and we often try to compensate for our mistakes with even more erratic and unpredictable behavior.  For example, you have apparently taken back up with a flame from long ago.  To correct this error, you then wrote a one-sentence email to a total stranger.

I think I can understand why you would get back together with someone that you divorced nearly two decades ago.  See, you're an idiot.  Since you wrote me, even after my web page says that we're clearly not associated with Dr. Phil, you are clearly someone in dire need of quality brain matter.  Do you know Tammy?

This is a situation that I've never heard of before.  This would be like Roseanne getting back with Tom Arnold, or Siegfried dumping Roy to get back with Carrot Top.  This truly makes no sense to me.  I recommend that you send me photographs of the two women, so I can make a more valid rationale.  As you know, most love triangles are resolved by answering the question, "Which one has the cutest ass?"

Also, kudos to you, for clinging to two women for two decades like grim death.  Not big on the dating thing, are ya?  I'm guessing that you're not the hottest Frodo to ever sling the 20-sided die.   Good luck to you, and may a lick of sense come your way soon.

Admiring your macking prowess,
Not Dr. Phil