First of all, I want to invite our Nashville-based fans to come out and see Chad and I perform stand-up as part of the "D's Nuts" Showcase coming up on Wednesday the 16th, as well as with the Skeleton Crew on the 15th. For full info, go to www.nashvillestandup.com

Now, to the issue at hand . . . As you can guess from the title above, I have a bit of a beef with a supposed "war correspondent" that is exploiting the war for his own personal gain. No, I'm not talking about Ashleigh Banfield, although she looks about as ill at ease in Pakistan as Osama Bin Laden would at a Manhattan McDonald's.

No, I'm here to talk to you about Geraldo . . . no, not the guy that did "Rico Suave" . . . that guy had WAY more substance.

Geraldo Rivera has been the stain in the panties of American Journalism for several decades now. His love of the lurid has run the gamut, from finding Al Capone's lost Coke bottles to inciting riots with the KKK to his startling "expose" on satanic cults (forgot about that hunk o' shit, didn't ya?), all under the guise of "journalistic integrity." Geraldo's general lack of shame makes him a perfect fit for Fox News, who snapped him up and sent him to Afghanistan, where he could give our dead soldiers the proper exploitation they deserve.

You've probably heard about his latest debacle, in which he said the Lord's Prayer over the "hallowed ground" of where our troops died in a friendly fire incident. Only problem is, the actual site was about 200 miles away, far away from Geraldo's buffet table. When he was called out for the mistake, he claimed that he had mixed up the location with another friendly fire site. Only OTHER problem is, the second incident hadn't even happened yet when his report was filed. "Geraldo Rivera, War Correspondent" is the biggest oxymoron since, well, "Fox News."

When I first read about this incident, only one word popped into my head: Scum. Geraldo Rivera has always been a sleazeball, but this is unreal. While our troops continue to die in service to our country, media outlets such as Fux (typo intentional) hire vultures like Geraldo in order to snag big ratings. We can talk all we want to about how our viewpoints have changed, how the world and America's view of it is SOOO different since the Sept. 11th massacre.

Bullshit. Rather than our country coming together and working to improve not just our country but the world around it, the same scheming, lying, and deceit continues, only now it's under the guise of "patriotism." Like before, the creamed corn minds of the majority of people in this country just let it happen . . . We don't wanna think about war, it gives us headaches.

Well, guess what, fuckos? We're in the thick of it now, and it's gonna get much, much worse before it gets better. I know most of us don't wanna think about it, but when you suddenly find yourself on the other side of the world blowing up rocks in order to make even tinier rocks, don't say I didn't warn ya.

Who knows? Maybe if you die, Geraldo will be on a mountaintop 200 miles away, singing your praises . . . that is, if the camera angle is just so.

This is the MangyDog, over and out.