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Jesse Perry

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Jesse Perry was born in Clinton, TN in 1975, the son of 3 sharecroppers and a basketball player named Mookie... (read more)

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Hello, my Mangy friends! Kentucky proved to be a success . . . hopefully, the "real job" will be paying in time.

As for the site, we are uploading more stuff constantly, and we will have some more MangyDog videos in the Video Vault here very soon. AH yes, the empire is slowly building. (Oh, and remember to sign up for the mailing list on the main page to keep abreast (snicker) of all of the Mangy happenings.

I went and saw that movie "Blow" (snicker) this weekend. This movie left me with very mixed feelings. Johnny Depp and Paul Reubens are both geniuses, and the cinematography and editing were both very good. However, director Ted Demme leans so much on Scorcese-driven technical and storytelling cliches that the whole thing comes across as the winner of some "Best Scorcese Ripoff" contest. A great story told by terrific actors, but spearheaded by a bad, derivative filmmaker. If only Ted had gotten his brother Jonathan to do it for him . . .

WHY RUSSELL CROWE IS A DIPSHIT

Okay, so I'm watching the Oscars a couple of weeks ago . . . At the start of the show, Steve Martin (who was an excellent host, by the way) is cracking wise about Russell Crowe and his predilections for anything with a functioning vagina. They then cut to Crowe, who was sitting there smug and pissed off, with a look of, "You can't make fun o' me, mate, AH'M RUSSELL CROWE!" For the rest of the show, every time the camera trained in on him, The World's Horniest Bloke just sat there, sullen, because someone dared call him out on the fact that he has dipped his wick in more places than a traveling candlemaker.

Can you believe the nerve of this jackass? This moron has the unmitigated gall to take offense whenever he's accused of something, or if his feelings are hurt, or if somebody calls him a name, "BOOHOO, POOR ME", SHUT THE HELL UP! Here's a tip, Russell . . . if you don't want to be made fun of for sleeping around, then KEEP YOUR COCK IN YOUR PANTS. You aren't misunderstood, you aren't a victim . . . R.C., buddy, you're just a whore.

Crowe also didn't exactly help himself with that Jon-Cryer-in-"Pretty in Pink"-hairflip thingee he had going on . . . he looked like a gay man from the Eighties. All he needed was a pair of pink Converse high-tops, and he was THERE, man. Apparently, Frankie DID go to Hollywood.

Oh, Russell, you sad clown. You sad, sad, painfully horny, obnoxiously humorless, serial rapist clown. Hopefully, for little Puddin's sake, the media will suddenly turn their collective back the next time Rascally Russ feels the need to put the ol' Shrimp in a Barbie. Hey, screw marriage and family, YER RUSSELL CROWE! You've got needs! Yer hornier than a brass section, and by gum, why should the woman's husband stand in your way? Go get 'em, you randy sexual predator!

Russell Crowe is just the latest in the long line of obnoxious celebrities that need to be lined up and shot. From Errol Flynn to Harmony Korine, the entertainment industry has churned out one despicable rat after another . . . some are assholes, some are pretentious, some are pretentious asshole crackheads (please see Korine). But regardless, we can take comfort in the fact that they'll O.D. soon, or, in the case of Crowe, will screw themselves to death. The world only has so much room for jackasses, and luckily, they tend to weed themselves out in time.

So, the next time you read some kiss-ass interview in US magazine about Russell Crowe and his need to "get away from it all" so he can go back to New Zealand and herd his goats, just be thinking about what he's doing on that farm, and reflect on the thousands of innocent sheep that will be slaughtered by the Glay-diatuh's magic sword.

This is the MangyDog, over and out.

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