Well, last night was excellent . . . I finally did comedy in front of an audience again! Ol' Chadwick and I performed at Zanies and the Cantina last night, and it seemed to go pretty well. Lots of people, all enthusiastic.  Thanks to everybody that came out, and sign up for the mailing list at the top of the page so you can receive our weekly newsletter, or as I like to call it, The Greatest Newsletter of All Time. (Also, a special thank-you to S.F. for the care package she dropped off for me at the Cantina. Best. Present. Ever.)

And now, here's some random crap:

- Last night, I heard someone say the following: "Man, I hated Clarksville so much, I ended up moving to Mississippi." I think that pretty much sums up that shithole more than anything I can possibly say.

- That movie "Bad Company" is coming out soon, with Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins, the most mismatched couple since Tom Cruise and women. I think the quality of this Jerry Bruckheimer-produced crapfest is best summed up by what Rock says during the preview: "Whoa, you mean my twin brother was CIA?" That pretty much ensures an 8-dollar shit sandwich, doesn't it? DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE.

- "Scooby-Doo." See above.

- If you're like me, there comes a time in your life when you say, "Hey, that's it . . . I am sick and tired of giving goats handjobs." Then, if you're like me, you chide yourself for acting silly and resume giving the goats the handjobs. Ha, I'm so silly and outrageous.

- I hate it when I write columns that start out with 2 interesting thoughts and the rest of the column seems to be a desperate grab to fill up some space.

- I was recently asked to review movies for Sensored, a Nashville-based artistic web site. Check the site out and be on the lookout for that . . . just think, now I can say mean things about celebrities on TWO web sites! HUZZAH!

- India and Pakistan are about to blow each other up. Scary, scary stuff, and it makes my lame comments pale by comparison. The thought of nuc-u-ler conflagration is a scary thought, especially when you realize what it could do to the valuable curry industry. Experts are estimating that as many as 10-12 million people could be killed, which is approximately 0.0000000012% of the Indian population. I hope it all works out, but when you look at how dirty and disgusting India is (it's downright Franceish), would a thermonuc-u-ler warhead that wipes out miles and miles of countryside be that bad of a thing? I say don't think of it as Indian genocide, think of it as Pakistani-induced beautification. Plus, all of the dungheaps will glow, and that could be a nice view for our astronauts living in space. Thanks, American spacemen, you've got the right stuff!

- I really should learn to break up my paragraphs a bit more.

- SUPPORT LIVE COMEDY.

This is the MangyDog, over and out.