Well, YardFlix . . . happened. Pretty good time, although I don't think they were too crazy about our antics. However, we are the master of dueling haiku, regardless of what people think. Um . . . GO US!

In related news, my review of "Remember My Name" is up at Sensored.com. Click here and 'em, and me, for that matter.

Now, enough about me . . . let's talk about me.

I like to think of myself as an exceptionally modest man, one whose humility places me in the pantheon of greatness. However, I saw something that made me realize my place in the universe, and my friends, let's just say that you people should be a little bit nicer to me, and in fact, should buy 3 shirts each from the Mangy store.

The other day, I went to , and did a search on "Jesse Perry." This is what I found.

That's right: I am the most famous Jesse Perry in the world.

Thank you, thank you. I'll give you time to catch your breath. Scroll down when you're ready.

Yep, of all the Jesse Perrys that are currently walking the Earth, I am The Man, The Big Cheese, The Head Honcho, The Guy at the Front of the Line, Mr. Great! Not only was my name first, but Mangy was second! I totally stomped every other Jesse Perry's ass.

Going through the results, it is clear that there are no Jesse Perrys in this world that come CLOSE to my might . . . there's this one Jesse Perry that's some cruddy poet. What a shame to the Jesse Perry race. Disgraceful. No self-respecting Jesse Perry would act like this gayfer.

The third-most-famous Jesse Perry is actually a bit more respectable: He is the owner of Homespek Home Inspection Services. He also teaches home inspection (i.e. bug huntin') at the University of Rhode Island. He seems like a gentleman and a scholar, and sure, he's successful and actually has a job, but I can tell by his picture I have a MUCH larger penis than him. Plus, I bet I'm cooler. Yeah, he's dumb, I'm good.

However, the Jesse Perry that I am proudest of would have to be Mr Jess Perry, the only Jess Perry that's a bigger stud than me, Jesse Perry. That's because Mr. Jess Perry is a horse. Yep, he's a 1992 Sorrell Stallion, and he's been knockin' up fillies for years now. I can't help but feel a special kinship to this wonderful creature. For one, I have been called a horse's ass by numerous people for years now. Plus, I'm hung like him. Throw in the fact that I have sex for money, and BAM, it's like I have a brother!

So, to all of you Jesse Perrys out there, look at me, your Dark Master, as your role model and your icon. And, if not me, then do it for the horse, Mr. Jess Perry, who's flippin' them hoes like flapjacks! Now, let's end with "The Jesse Perry Song." Please rise.

(sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree")
Oh, Jess Perry, Oh, Jess Perry,
You are so great and well-hung,
You're really nice, And quite sexy,
And Chad Riden is really gay.

A-men.

This is the MangyDog, over and out.