email Jesse

(Before I begin, I have gotten some questions about Some Awful Bridge, who I praised in my last column . . . theyŠre great, and theyŠre web site link is here, so check it out!)

Our Screwed Nation

It is now 8:33 in the p.m., December 13, 2000.  Al †Chucklesÿ Gore has just conceded the election, and our new Head Cheese-Elect is George †WhatŠs the letter after V? Mama told me it wasÿ W. Bush.

These are dark, unsettling times . . . as frozen rain pelts the parking lot, rendering the lot a skating rink, a chill shoots up my back, not because of the artic weather outside, but from the realization that the next 4 years (and thatŠs all itŠs gonna be . . . FOUR YEARS) will see our country get stupider and stupider, as our short attention span society collides with a short-term president.

What does George W. Bush as our President really mean?  Consider this:

• Britney and NŠ Sync arenŠt going anywhere just yet;
• Lots and LOTS of stupid, ugly children;
• About 14,376 candidates for the presidency in 2004, most of them rich frat boys who are in because †Hey, our BOY did it! Why not me dude, totally?ÿ;
• No Al Gore (hey, everything has a silver lining;
• And, IŠll probably be banned.

So, before the Culture Gestapo cracks down, and the memories of Bob Dylan, The Beatles, and the Stones slowly drift away, and before I begin starring in infomercials and replace Bruce Vilanch on †Hollywood Squares,ÿ PLEASE tell your friends about this site.  They might not be able to for long.